adequacy

My fear of recklessness and irresponsibility is rooted in the need to prove myself and maintain my reputation. 

But today, I ask – 

What am I trying to prove?

And to whom?

Is it possible there is no longer a need for me to prove myself, because you have prepared everything and you have said “It is good?”

My heart longs for adventure as much as the next person.  My spirit longs for the long exhale of daring and wild living, the meditative inhale of groundedness and meaning.  

But I am scared. 

I am scared of what people will think of me. 

I am scared I am not enough. 

I am scared I will not make it, that I will have to come running back home with my tail tucked in-between my legs. 

But today I remember. 

I have nothing to prove. 

If you say I am good, if you say I am equipped, why do I wrestle with the need to be adequate on own?

You remind me – 

Great Love casts out Great Fear.

To the degree I am afraid, I am loved infinitely more so. 

Show me –

When I allow you to remove the pressing need to prove myself, I make space for the possibility of enjoyment and adventure. 

One thought on “adequacy

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