God, so often do I forget the gift that is my own life.

So tangled up am I in daydreams, in places where I believe you are more present.

This place I am now is not what I would have asked for, and it’s so much easier (and safer and more fulfilling) to fantasize about being somewhere else.

And I suppose that’s why I don’t feel your leading as much as I used to: I have attributed evidence of your guidance to a more perfect life.

Lost in my head, I lose sight of so many things:

The beauty in who I am today,

The joy in my life as it is now,

and your presence in all of it.

I pray you restore to me the joy of your salvation, in the here and now, at my job, in my house, in my singleness, in my childlessness, and renew in me a willing spirit.

A spirit willing to look up, to be here now; a spirit infused with the strength to show up fully, even in places that don’t look the way I would like.

(Psalm 51:12).

Keep me grounded, anchored and trusting, ever mindful and grateful,

And may the song of my spirit and the fruit of my life;

The tale of my legacy

Always be this:

You are my God forever and ever.

You will always lead me.

(Psalm 48:14)